The Extraordinary Birthday

~Fear is just an emotion. It doesn't define me. I'm not afraid.

   For 2017 I had a resolution to not be ruled by fear. I found myself often failing at it, until yesterday.
Yesterday was my birthday(Japan time) so I wanted to do something out of the ordinary. I went to Osaka, the neighboring city of Kyoto. I 'd never fully explored the place so I thought my birthday was as good as any day to try. I loved the bright, vibrant atmosphere of Osaka even in the day. In contrast to Kyoto's muted, brown, white and pink pastels, Osaka shouts color with red  popping out often to meet your eye. For a while I walked around the dizzying department stores, then headed out for lunch.
I usually prefer a pork(tonkatsu) or soy sauce based broth for my ramen , but that day I tried a seafood based ramen and found it unexpectedly good.

A new city and ramen  was about as much adventure as I could take. But then  I sensed the Spirit of God. God is as real to me as any person; my ever present advisor and friend. I felt him speak gently

"I want you to ride the Ferris wheel".---
"You wanted me to do what God?" I thought.

You want me to ride that ferris wheel that I saw over the department store I was eating at? That Ferris wheel looming 110 meters tall?

   Apart of me really wanted to do it , to break the mold. But the other part of me, the part that usually has her way, resisted.  I didn't feel like it. I 'd rather follow my same old routine and stick to safe things. But God wasn't a routine God; he had prodded me out of my bed, out of my comfort and into Osaka.

   "I'm going to speak to you at the top of the ferris wheel"- he said.

  Grumbling and relieved at the same time, I made my way  over to the wheel and bought my ticket. One of the attendants helped me in. I began the slow ascent. As the wheel rose higher, so did my fear. What had I done? Had I really heard God? The fear mounted and God sent a wave of peace. Such peace, like being placed in a hot spring, or  warm bath, scented with candles. The fear began to dissolve. All of a sudden I found myself declaring "fear is just an emotion. It doesn't define me. I'm not afraid." I repeated it again and again until the peace became incomprehensible (Phillippians 4:7). I wasn't afraid. I rested at the peak of the wheel, the highest point of the ascent. I looked down at the sprawling metropolis, the buildings too numerous to count.

What had I done? I'd conquered  a fear of heights with my God. I 'd learned a technique of confronting fear through refusing to let the emotion define me. I realized it's "ok" to feel fear. Fear is an emotion. Just like, joy, or anger or tiredness. I learned feel the emotion---but don't let it define you. Don't let it control you. Never let it stop you from doing the hard things. Oh, how my God had spoken to me at the wheel,  but never in a way I had expected. I thought he would talk to me face to face--to just tell me things like he usually does. Instead, he sat with me in silence and gave me my own anthem to conquer fear. I emerged from the experience extremely proud of myself. I thought I'd learned my lesson of the day. But he had so much more in store for me.

    I went to a worship meeting in Nishinomiya, a few stops away from Osaka. It was a place Christians gathered to sing, dance and pray. While there I met a lovely couple from Holland. They had a prayer ministry and asked to pray for me. They said many things that blessed me and allowed me to experience the wonderful love of God. Yet one thing they said particularly shines.  The man , without knowing anything about what had happened to me that day, said something to the effect of "God is delivering you from fear" "He's breaking the fear".

Oh yes, he was. That word, coupled with my ferris wheel experience, broke the fear. I rested once more in peace like a river that night. The river rolls on, even today; I feel the peace I can't explain.
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The Greatest Gift of Introversion

    Introversion and extroversion--descriptors of personality--- are two topics I've been interested in for almost 10 years. Here’s a brief summary of the two: generally introverts gain energy while alone and lose it around people, while extroverts gain energy around people but lose energy alone. Now some people don't fit neatly into either introversion or extroversion and are called ambiverts, but for the most part people fall into either one or the other as their dominant preference for living.

   I've always been a quiet person and people have labeled me as shy throughout my childhood; but it wasn't until high-school that I began to challenge the notion that I was shy. I realized I wasn't afraid or nervous around people....I was just...tired. I couldn't understand why it felt like such work to talk to people. I started to research and discovered an article in the Atlantic Monthly about introversion called "Caring for your Introvert". As I read it I met myself for the first time. My mind blazed with understanding and color. I read "Introverts are not necessarily shy.....Extroverts are energized by people, and wilt or fade when alone....In contrast, after an hour or two of being socially "on," we introverts need to turn off and recharge." This was me. I finally knew me---there wasn't anything wrong with me. For a 15 year old, the finding of herself and knowing she was normal, was healing balm of it's own. This led to me buying a book and learning all about introversion and consequently myself.

 The Depths of Self

   As I've grown as a person and experienced life my understanding of introversion has deepened substantially. I've learned of the spiritual component. In college my worldview changed and I personally experienced  for myself that God is real. I discovered the meaning of life and a narrative that explained and held together, loose pieces of knowledge and observation that I saw in science, psychology, myself and people around me. Through science, I knew how things were the way they were but not why.   Christianity made the world make sense and be coherent. Consequently, I've seen the origins of personality in God himself, for Genesis declares that human beings have been created in the image of God. According to Christianity God is a three part being, composed of 3 persons who are distinct yet one in deity. God is 3 in one, made up the Father, the Son and Holy Spirit. God is a deeply interior being—with a rich inner life. Introversion reflects the independence, the introspection and the oneness of God. On the other hand as a Trinity, God is a holy society. Extroversion reflects God’s relationship with the other member of himself. Introversion and extroversion are both pictures of the inward and  outward movements of God.

 The Greatest Gift

   At times I've struggled with being an introvert, especially when it comes to balancing my unique energy needs with my desire to be around people. 1 hour of being around people can wipe me out for several hours physically.  Was this a curse or gift? My Christianity has helped me see it as a gift. A Christian introvert spends time not just alone, but with God. And the thing about God is unlike people, he doesn't drain you. In fact he restores you. In the beloved Psalm 23, King David writes "The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He makes me lie down in green pastures. He restores my soul". God as Maker and  Shepherd restores the soul of both the introvert and extrovert.

    I’ve a fairly draining job as a teacher---though I enjoy teaching---and so after a day of work I’m pretty exhausted. However, I learned stilling myself before God, listening to gentle worship music, can work wonders in replenishing me. Solitude with God is the greatest gift of introversion. Perhaps it’s a bit more difficult for extroverts to be alone with God often----I have talked to a couple of extroverts who’ve said this is the case. The flip side of this is that extroverts have an advantage when it comes to socializing with other Christians and non-Christians alike. It’s easier for them to go into all the world and make disciples. Yet no matter if we are introverts or extroverts God call us equally to spend time alone with him AND to witness in the world. We may have to work harder in our area of weakness but if we are dependent on God and understanding of each other, our weaknesses aren’t curses, but blessings in disguise. In the time to come, I  look forward to learning more about personality and know that with God, there’s more meaning behind things than I’ve ever imagined.

The Champion

The Champion

Searing gold embroiders sky,

Adorning the runners in brilliant color.

The first circuit he pants and -----all are hit.

In less than 12 hours he travels a city,

In less than 24 he scales a globe 

Lank and fluid he passes the line

a mere band in the distance------and in glory wins the morning.

© Shay

Book Review: Seeing The Voice of God

   

                                     

     I am not a seer; I can count on one finger the amount of times I have seen a vision. On a occasion I have dreamed dreams I believe are from God but I usually do not remember my dreams. I've been saved for about 4 years and the past two years I have been in a quiet season with the Lord where I have not heard his voice audibly through my thoughts as I once did.  Thus, I was excited to review "Seeing the Voice of God" by Laura Harris Smith. Its a book of 11 chapters dedicated to helping believers tune into the voice of God via dreams and visions. I found the book very well written and informative. Laura classifies the various kinds of dreams one can have and even provides a mini-dream interpretation dictionary. Moreover, she dedicates a couple of chapters to visions and provides classification of them based upon the original Hebrew and Greek meaning. In addition, the book is highly practical and Laura helps her readers dream, not only by providing spiritual advice but also showing them the natural process behind it. 

"Sleep is the mattress of dreams", she says and thus provides a well researched chapter on the sleep cycle and helpful tips on how to improve sleep and dream recall. I really enjoyed this chapter because it was a wonderful blend of scientific and biblical truth. Too often science is presented only from a secular point of view but I love reading scientific and academic information from a Christian perspective. God is the source of all truth and should be recognized for it.

 The last third of the book centered on hearing God's voice clearly, discerning what we have heard or seen, and Laura's struggle with epilepsy and "the deaf and dumb spirit". The section on "20/20 hearing" and discernment felt a bit too condensed and I wished it had been longer but I really enjoyed reading her testimony. Spiritual Warfare is real and I loved getting insight into this spirit that I know little about but am beginning to recognize at work in parts of my own and family's life. After reading this chapter I feel better equipped to war in general and against this spirit.
    
    Overall this was a good introduction into dreams, visions and the supernatural. I liked how invested Laura seemed in her readers and the shepherdess in her comes through in her tone and thorough explanations. If one is new to the charismatic or is not very comfortable with it, this is a very safe book to explore the supernatural workings of God. Laura wants to move the reader away from the "mystical" i.e impractical and overly mysterious, into the practical, i.e the knowable and experience-able gifts of God. This book has encouraged me to continue seeking spiritual sight from God, and I believe he will use this book to help me do so in the future. I highly recommend it.

*** I received a free copy of this book from Chosen a division of Baker Publishing Group in exchange for my honest review.

Book Review: The Pleasure of His Company

  Dutch Sheet’s “The Pleasure of His Company: A Journey to Intimate Friendship with God” was truly a pleasure to read.  God lead me to this book right when I needed to be reminded of his love for me as a Father. This book definitely did the trick. It’s 30 chapters long and can be used as a month long devotional. Each chapter was fresh and insightful, had beautiful prayers at the end and shared the theme of the importance of spending quality time with God. The chapters also started with personal anecdotes,some were very interesting, others were unfortunately not. Aside from that small flaw, the book was very engaging. 

Sheet’s does a great job of showing God is not stoic, distant or waiting with scowl on his face to punish us for our sins. In our own human desire to be righteous and holy it is easy to slip into these “religious” ideas about him. However, Sheet’s presents the Lord as “passionate, caring, a lover of people, and a seeker of companionship.” He is a God that rejoices when his prodigals return and dances joyfully over them (Like 15:11-32, Zephaniah 3:17).   

    Another aspect of the book I enjoyed was the word studies. Often Sheets would analyze a passage of scriptures based on the meanings of the Hebrew or Greek words used. My favorite was his study of Martha and Mary in Luke 10: 38-42. (It is obviously his favorite as well, as he devotes three chapters to it).  One interesting insight was that the word akouo used to describe Mary’s listening, carries the meaning “to understand, hear with the ear of the mind; to hear effectively as to perform what is spoken” (58). In addition the Greek word logos was used to describe the words Mary was listening to, rather than the usual term rhema. Logos has the connotation of “connecting” or “linking” words in order to communicate thoughts and messages. It embodies “the logic” or content of the words. Sheets says “the Lord’s words were connecting in Mary, building a foundation for her life” as she listened. Thus he infers that when Jesus rebukes Martha for her distractions and tells her “only one thing is necessary” he means “Martha, if you will truly connect to me everything else will fall into place. Order will be established; relationships will make sense; I’ll guide your steps into purpose and destiny; I’ll teach you to prosper—everything will work well if you’ll simply listen to me.” (76) That is just one glimpse of the insights his word studies offer.Overall, I highly recommend the book, whether you are in need of experiencing God as Father for the first time, need to be refreshed, or simply want to grow in intimacy with him. 

**I received a free copy of this book from Bethany House Publishers  in exchange for my honest review. 

Book Review of The Prayer Project

 One of the purposes for my blog is to provide Christians with tools to strengthen their relationship with God.  An important way to get to know God is by spending time with him. This is essentially prayer. The Prayer Project by Becka Goings is a great resource for learning how to pray and ultimately how to grow closer to God.

The purpose of this book is to encourage believers to make their lives a prayer project--to continue to grow in their prayer lives.  The book teaches the basics of prayer and is aimed at those who don't pray, but even if you have a strong prayer life , you can glean many fresh insights from it. It is concise, clocking in around 175 pages, but touching on almost every aspect of prayer you can think of. There are even prayers for the reader's spiritual and prayer growth at the end of each chapter. The strength of this book is its demonstration on why it is important to pray in the first place. According to the author, prayer is "conversation with God" . It is intimate communion with him. Thus, a person cannot merely pray at dinner, during church service, or with other Christians and expect to know God intimately.God wants alone time with us and our full and undivided attention. The Prayer Project aptly describes the reason why he desires such alone time with us:

" If you spend no personal time with God, you cannot say you know Him personally. We have friends, but there’s always that one friend we tell our secrets to.  The one we confide in; the one we’re real with. God longs to be this Friend." (19-20)

Thus, getting to know God personally requires personal,  private time with him.

  Another plus of this book is that the author gives examples of why God may delay an answer to prayer or even reject a prayer. Sometimes he requires we wait for a season so that he may test our faith or force us to seek him more deeply.  Other times he simply says no because we do not pray according to his will, or have the wrong motivation for asking (James 4:2-3). The flip side to this principle reveals the surest way to get an answer to prayer. Pray God's will.  Pray Scripture.  Because Scripture is God's word it is his will. The author emphasizes if believers pray Scripture, they will have power in their prayers and see tremendous growth in their lives.

  Overall, this was a wonderful book to read, well written and  filled with spiritual wisdom.  I highly recommend it. Make your life a prayer project.

Book Review: Into the Whirlwind

   Into the Whirlwind by Elizabeth Camden is one of those book you are eager to read on, whenever you can, but it it is not without its flaws.

                                             

    The story is set in 19th Century Chicago, taking place just before and after The Great Chicago Fire of 1871.  The author describes this  fire with gripping detail right from the get go, and the reader is drawn immediately into the story, and characters. The heroine, Molly Knox, is the owner of  the 57th Illinois Watch Company,  left to her by her deceased father. It employs a rag tag crew of disabled veterans, assembled together by her late father, who fought alongside them during the Civil War. Molly sees this shop she invested  heart into, go up in flames, while alongside Zack Kazmarek, the lawyer of  Hartman's,  the 57's  biggest inventory buyer. Yet she  is a determined woman and her journey to rebuild her father's company is complicated by a budding romance with Zack.

   Zack and Molly are an amusing pair. He seems steely in business, and sometimes outright ruthless. But in his personal life, and especially in his interactions with Molly, he is a funny, hotheaded, young man. On the other hand Molly is a strange mix of order and passion. She wears her hair in tight braids and she has the meticulous mind required to assemble tiny machinations of a pocket watch tick. However, she is also fiercly concerned in making sure the company and it employees, survive.  Zack is both puzzled by her and grealty attracted to her. He likes her unruly hair wild and free. Molly isn't always sure what to do with him. They are brought closer  by experiencing the fire together, but their differing  personalities threaten to keep them a part. Their romance is challenged by dishonstey, stubbornness, persumption, miscommunication, and even a more stable suitor. However, I found myself rooting for their relationship to make it.

    Camden wonderfully develops Molly's character. One gets a keen sense of who she is, consistently. However, Zack is a bit one dimensional. The reader could have benefited from more scenes featuring him  learning who he is, and seeing more than just his impetuosity and brisk, business like manner. Also, it seems the rash, hoted  head macho- man is a common trope, particularly in this genre. I would have prefered to see a more nuanced and  unique character.

   Finally, the biggest flaw of the novel was the "absence" of God. He took a loooong back seat in most of the characters lives. Aside from the characters saying a few prayers here and there, one does not find the depth of relationship with Christ in any character's life. There are Christian themes present, such as faith,
 but  the novel would have been even better if the character's relationship with God had  been explored in greater detail. We're in need of more  books that present a dynamic and vivid presentation of the Lord with his people.

Note: I recieved a free copy of this book from Bethany House Publisher in exchange for my honest review.